Monday, August 1, 2011

Rihanna: Drunken Queen of Barbados

While most of us woke up and went to work this morning, Rihanna got up, slid into this a pile of ruby fishnets and started downing rum out of a cup she found lying next to a chicken coop. From there, it was only another a matter of more rum until she thought simulating doggy style sex on a parade float would be an awesome idea. And when isn’t it? Anyway, all this is to celebrate Kadooment Day in Barbados which I’m just going to assume is some sort of ritual to declare a new queen of da island. Later, a bunch of nerds will use “Google” and tell me it’s about the sugar cane harvest then question how I even got this job. Which, funny enough, also involved rum, fishnets and this. Whatever this is.

UPDATE: Added more pics starting here, in case anyone wanted to see Rihanna do a shit-faced spread eagle over an entire Barbadian town thus pleasing the harvest spirits.

UPDATE: And now here’s another gallery because there’s no way this wasn’t going to be an all day drunk butt fest.

Photo: Splash News

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So Who Wants To Gaze Into The Eye of Satan? Anyone?

And we got a taker.

What you’re looking at is Deena Cortese shopping in Jersey with no underwear on yesterday, and against my regard for public safety and ocular integrity, I made the uncensored version available because I really don’t want to Big Brother you guys if I can help it. That said, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to tell your friends and family you love them and maybe leave a note with specific instructions to set your computer on fire without looking directly at it, or even indirectly if at all possible, after they find you. But, again, free country.

Photos: Splash News

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Selena Gomez Sunbathing Topless (For The Most Part)Selena Gomez Topless Bikini Sunbathing Pregnant

ere’s 19-year-old (Seemed like a good idea to point that out.) Selena Gomez sunbathing in Orlando over the weekend and, okay, fine, looking not pregnant. And while I’m being completely honest, its time all of us stop lying to ourselves about Justin Bieber hitting this and start focusing on harvesting His power. I’m talking literally consuming His body thus becoming one with His magic because, trust me, transubstantiation ain’t cutting it. Which is surprising for a Roman Catholic concept that I’m using to take something from a young boy, but I digress. The important thing is I’ve been covering Communion wafers in maple syrup all morning, and I haven’t touched a single Italian-Mexican hybrid boob yet. Unless they feel like diabetes, in which case, they be all up in my face, making my feet not feel no more.

Photo: Splash News

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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Amy Childs, Peaches Geldof and Abbey Clancy lined up for Big Brother's 2011 return

Channel 5 is on the verge of signing a multi-million pound deal with the hit show's makers, Endemol, according to the Daily Star Sunday.

The paper and Channel 5 are both owned by media tycoon Richard Desmond, so it's highly likely that this is more than mere speculation.

The paper reports that a four-week celebrity version of the show will kick off a 'Summer Of Bruv', followed by Big Brother 2011 in September.

The channel's bosses have wasted little time in naming stars they'd like to see on the show, including ex-Harrods boss Mohamed Al-Fayed, wacky Hollywood actor Charlie Sheen, The Only Way Is Essex's Amy Childs, presenter and model Peaches Geldof and Peter Crouch's other half, model Abbey Clancy.

A Channel 5 source told the Daily Star Sunday: 'We are giving television fans exactly what they wanted – Big Brother back on our screens this summer.

'The deal will be signed over the next couple of days but everything has been agreed.

'It’s a really exciting time for Channel 5 and everyone is determined to make this new era of Big Brother the best yet.

'We want people like Charlie Sheen and Peaches Geldof, who we’re confident would be TV gold inside the house.'

Abbey wins her Spur as Pete names day at last

EDITED BY CHARLOTTE GRIFFITHS

Peter Crouch has finally set a date to wed his long-standing girlfriend Abbey Clancy.

The Spurs and England striker proposed to lingerie model Abbey, 25, two years ago and the WAG has been wearing her £200,000 diamond engagement ring ever since, despite lurid revelations about her fiance.

Abbey gave birth to their first child Sophia Ruby four weeks ago and the couple – who have been together for six years –are now planning to marry on June 30 in a lavish ceremony at Stapleford Park hotel in Leicestershire.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tila Tequila Legally Declared a FamewhoreTila Tequila Legally Declared a Famewhore

October 7th, 2010 // 57 Comments

Tila Tequila tried to stop the release of a sex tape, or at least pretended to look like she tried, but ended up being essentially told by a judge that she’s a walking bag of whore who just wants attention, according to TMZ:

Tila’s lawyer, Alan Gutman, just asked an L.A. County Superior Court judge for an injunction, prohibiting the release of one of her sex tapes. Gutman argued the tape — shot more than 7 years ago during a trip with her boyfriend — was an invasion of privacy and a misappropriation of her image.
But the judge scoffed, saying privacy, schmivacy: “Tila exploits her sexuality.”

So at this point, you can pretty much do whatever you want to Tila Tequila without her consent and no jury will convict. While I’m sure this might concern a few civil rights advocates, I doubt any of us can search our hearts and argue we’re talking about an actual human being here. It’d be like saying blow-up dolls have emotions which, in hindsight, isn’t fair to rubber sex toys. No one deserves that comparison.

more....

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Abigail Clancy Because She Is Super Hot

Here’s Abigail Clancy at the 2009 Glamour Awards showing off her long ass legs in a sweet short dress with some sort of weird back piece that almost looks like a cape. She’s like a vampire or a hot f@#king superhero. I could use her help right about now, my erection has lasted way more than four hours and I don’t have any medical insurance. Bring some Gatorade.